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Jan Andrew Bloxham's avatar

Courageous of you to share. Toxic relationships are highly addictive. It’s morbidly fascinating how lost and stuck and dysfunctional we can be in them, and how clearly we see it in hindsight, when we finally, one day, find peace.

The silver lining to such experiences is how much we learn from them, and feel with complete conviction: never again.

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Akhil's avatar

Thanks Jan. It was a scary thing to share, but I hope it can help others escape their own patterns. I am averse to using the phrase 'toxic relationships' though- it seems to paint with one broad brushstroke what was a complex situation. It also makes the work of healing harder for me. It makes me reluctant to look at the situation because the part of me that loved genuinely resists that label.

And in terms of learning, couldn't agree more. I think I needed the experience to break me so I could unearth deeper problems of self-abandonment

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Sarath Tummala's avatar

Somehow reading this took me to my own past, reflect on the present and work towards the future. Great read Akhil and well-written as always.

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Akhil's avatar

Thanks Tummi! Let's talk on call about what it brought up for you!

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Rajan's avatar

In a way, we are all architects of our own prison, with approval seeking behaviour at the core of it.

Cultivating the witness is the only way out. The realization that I am the cause of my own sufferings and therefore I can overcome these is truly liberating.

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Simp Of Human Progress's avatar

The metaphor of the child in the well turning away from the rope is one of the most accurate and heartbreaking descriptions of self sabotage I've ever read. Thank you for sharing.

I also have a personal question I wanted to ask, I left it inbox, when you have time please check it out.

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Salonika's avatar

Such a beautiful and daring write up. It definitely made me think about my own prison....such a difficult thing to acknowledge and accept. But like you said, sometimes the most powerful thing one can do is sit with it. :)

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